After we arrived in Georgetown, we had a few miserable days of rolling in the anchorage. We still got off the boat and attended regatta events and enjoyed some social occasions, but those were some wet dinghy rides! We got sick of the rolling so we moved closer to the beach in hopes of better protection, and we are definitely not rolling as much, but we haven’t been able to leave the boat in four days because we’ve had unceasing 30 kt winds. Everyone says “this weather is so unusual!” and I’m sure that’s true, but that certainly doesn’t make it easier or better to be trapped aboard a 37 foot boat. If anyone reading this is in a coronavirus quarantine, we feel your pain!

Since we don’t have much going on, I thought we’d go in a different direction for today’s post. Something a little more lighthearted! That’s right, today we’re talking about MURPHY’S LAWS OF SAILING!

1. If the wind is forecast to be ahead of the beam, it’s going to be on the nose.

Every single time. And while we sail pretty well close-hauled, catamarans can’t point towards the wind very well. It feels like we either have to double the length of our trip via tacking…or just hit the “easy” button (motor into the wind). And if you’re trying to make an anchorage before dark, or stay out of the big swell/current, then you might not have a choice!

Don’t forget the corollary: if the wind is forecast to be on the nose and then switch around to the beam, it never does.

2. If you have a giant anchorage all to yourself, any subsequent boats that arrive will anchor right on top of you.

Forget those naked transom showers, you thought there was going to be privacy but now you can’t even hang out in the cockpit without making accidental eye contact with that dude who can only anchor if another boat has proven that it’s a good spot. I think the rule here should be that if you are close enough to hand a beer to your boat neighbor, you are required to pass them a beer. And then move.

There’s a corollary for this rule too! If you show up in a crowded anchorage, by nightfall everyone else will have left. This sounds like a good thing, but in reality it makes you question all your life choices leading up to this point. Is this a bad anchorage? Is there weather coming that I don’t know about? You scramble to doublecheck the charts, the anchorage reviews, the weather, the swell direction. We actually had a standing joke with La Vie Dansante, we were the ones that left and so they hailed us on the radio to ask if we knew something they didn’t know. After that, literally every time they arrived at an anchorage we happened to be pulling up anchor. This happened – I kid you not – about 8 times over the course of a month before we finally met them in person at the cruisers get-together in Warderick Wells!

3. No matter what time you approach an inlet, the tide is always outgoing.

It doesn’t matter how well you plan or try to time your arrival, somehow there is always an outgoing tide that you need to fight to get in the inlet. Or an incoming tide if you’re trying to go out the inlet.

This law was especially true in Charleston, where the outgoing tide + outgoing river current was incredibly strong at 4 kts, and even an incoming tide + outgoing river current still has a net result of outgoing current.

4. As soon as you put a reef in, the wind dies down.

And if you choose not to put a reef in, the wind will continue to build. Still, it’s easier to shake a reef out than it is to wait too long to put a reef in, the rule of thumb is to reef early and often!

5. The grocery boat always arrives the day after you leave an anchorage.

I can’t tell you how many times we’ve had this happen in the Bahamas. Fellow cruisers tell us the grocery boat arrives to restock the grocery store on Wednesday. Great! Except…the wind on Tuesday is really good for moving on, so we’re stuck with the last dregs of sad vegetables when we restock on Monday so we can take advantage of that good wind. It’s slightly smushy green peppers or no peppers at all!

6. If it’s gonna break, it’s gonna break at the worst possible time.

Most notably, we were entering the Ft. Pierce inlet (crazy busy with small boats) on Memorial Weekend (CRAZY. BUSY. SMALL. BOATS), and we lost an engine. We had to decide to bail out or keep going! Fortunately it was just a hose that had come loose and Kyle was able to reattach it right away. Oh, did I mention he had just cleaned that engine compartment and the hose that came loose flooded the compartment with seawater?

And then there’s the corollary about how the thing that breaks is never the thing you have spares for. After months of dealing with really tough situations, morale was at an all time low when the other shoe dropped. We lost an engine when the freshwater pump pulley severed. We carry a hundred spare raw water pumps, but we didn’t have a spare freshwater pump. We opted to wait for the part at a marina, which means every day you wait, that part gets astronomically more expensive. But sometimes you need an excuse to stay at a marina for a while!

7. Fish only bite when the other person is sleeping.

Or when it’s extremely inconvenient. The worst was our crossing back to Florida last year, when I was woken up THREE TIMES by fish (including a flying fish that landed in the cockpit and started flopping around in a total panic). Now I use it to my advantage. Not catching anything? Alright, I guess it’s time for my nap!

Side note: this is the only law that hasn’t made me say “this is complete bullshit!” at one point or another. I’m happy to be woken up for a free food!

Alright, there you have it. You thought sailing was all fun and games, now you know the truth! The wind never cooperates, the current never cooperates, and other boats are the worst!

I’m kidding, we’ve had some beautiful sailing days and for the most part, cruisers are a wonderful bunch that I’m happy to claim as my community! Sailing is a lot of fun and it gives us a chance to see a part of the world we would never otherwise see, especially not to this depth and breadth. There are some very real challenges to this lifestyle though, and at some point we all need to vent!

Any sailors out there with any Murphy’s Laws of Sailing to add to my list?